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Matthew Charles Weiss |
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The various genres of the music of various cultures throughout history can be likened to the various foods that one can eat. Each food has its own particular taste, texture, nutritional, and medicinal value, yet they all share common qualities which define them as "food". All foods come from the Earth, all are made up of combinations of proteins, carbohydrates, fats, fiber, etc. and all are digestible by the human body. In the same way, the various genres of pre-20th century music differ from each other greatly, yet by and large, their tonal language can be described within a system that is a subset of the whole of pre-20th century harmony. They all have a tonal center, adhere to a particular mode or two, can be harmonized using a handful of chord progressions, are inherently pleasing to the ear, and so on. For centuries musicians and composers partook of these foods and even "created" new foods by combining pre-existing ones in new ways, applied various cooking techniques, fermentation, spices, and so on. Even though mankind had not yet discovered proteins, carbohydrates, fats, and the like, this lack of knowledge did not effect the tastes, textures, nutritional value, or medicinal value of these foods. As time went on, the demand for new and original tasting foods accelerated. As a result people began to add more and more spices to their food, until finally there was so much added spice that it was almost impossible to taste the original foods contained in any particular dish. Now the Master Chefs, that is the Composers, did not know what to do until along came a new School of Chefs now referred to as the "Serialists" who provided the most ingenious solution which profoundly altered the Art of Cooking from that day forward. By this time, mankind had discovered that foods could be described to the scientifically oriented as nothing more than combinations of proteins, carbohydrates, fats, etc. So the Serialists theorized that best way to approach the Art of Cooking was to begin by distilling out all the unneccessary qualities of the various foods and henceforth create dishes out of a material that equally represented all foods minus all their frivolous distinguishing characteristics. In other words, the Serialists decided that rather than focus upon the various foods that humans had put into their mouths for millenia, why not consider the resulting material that, having been fully processed by the human body, comes out the other end? The Serialists realized that this wonderful substance, which was always considered offensive by the uneducated masses, in fact had all sorts of interesting qualities. It was full of all kinds of interesting microscopic critters, came in all kinds of interesting textures and consistencies, some varieties could float while others sank, etc. etc. Also, it was obvious to them that this material which the uneducated had foolishly tossed aside was in fact the ultimate evolution in food by virtue of its transformation due to its association with the human body which is the pinnacle of God's creation or at least the capstone of millions of years of evolution. Man, due to his inherently divine nature had the ability all along to transform an ordinary substance such as food into this extraordinary and useful material, much the same as a philosopher's stone changes base metals into gold. Pity we were all too ignorant to notice! Overjoyed with their new discovery, the Serialists quickly became master artisans and the final authority on anything having to do with this magical brownish stuff. They wrote scientific treatises about it, created new philosophical systems based upon it, they fashioned wonderful sculptures with it, mixed it with water and painted the most beautiful paintings, made bricks out of it to build their houses, marketed new lines of snacks, tooth paste, breath mints, suntan lotion, etc. The possibilities seemed endless. However, all their artistry, ingeniuty, treatises, new philosophical systems, and so on could not mask the fact that all these creations shared certain common qualities intrinsic to this substance that were admittedly undesirable, namely: 1) It stinks. 2) It is a source of disease. Now the Serialists responded to problem #1 by declaring that this substance doesn't really smell that bad, and in fact after working with it for a while, one comes to realize that it smells quite good. Also, to the untrained nose there is only one smell, but to the connisseur, there are infinite shades, each to be uniquely appreciated like the facets of a finely cut diamond. As to problem #2 the Serialists responded by declaring that contrary to popular thought, this magnificient stuff is in fact not a source of disease. In reality, it is an avenue to the realization of perfect health. All anyone has to do is stop eating old-fashioned food entirely and keep to a strict diet of this divine substance. Bearing in mind that the body will undergo a certain adjustment period as it begins to expell latent toxins acquired from a lifetime of eating ordinary food, ultimately a person who faithfully adheres to this regime will wake up one day with a body and mind that is perfect in every way, much as the yogis, monks, and other ascetics have done by means of diets consisting of nothing more than fruit juices, locusts, water, or simply air. So for quite a while, for the Serialists, life was good. However, over time there arose a great outcry from the uneducated masses due the increasing stench in public places and due to the untimely deaths of certain well-known Serialist ascetics. This outcry threatened to become an all-out revolt that the Serialists could no longer ignore. Gradually, one by one, the hard-line Serialists began to fall away and through a long process of self-inquiry the remaining Master Chefs came to the conclusion that certain of their beliefs having to do with food may have been a bit off. Now unfortunately, the Serialist movement had gained great popularity amongst the Master Chefs of the world so that nearly all of them had acquired a taste and appreciation for the substance that the Serialists had championed. The Master Chefs decided to backtrack and begin cooking and eating dishes comprised of good old-fashioned food, however they continued to add some of the Serialist's favorite substance to all of their creations in order to add flavor, since to their palates, normal food was simply too bland. Throughout this time, from the educated and uneducated masses, there continued a steady stream of criticism of the Master Chef's creations. However, the Master Chefs largely ignored this and created new treatises and philosophical systems partly based on their Serialist predecessors in order to support the modern cuisine which they felt entrusted by history to uphold. This situation has continued up to the present day, so that even now the majority of the uneducated and educated masses continue to marvel at the eating habits of the Master Chefs, and the Master Chefs continue to lament the fact that so many people will not eat their dishes, let alone even sit at the same table with them! This whole situation can be summed up thus: "All that the musicians and audiences of the world want is something good to eat. However all the modern composers have to offer is a pile of crap." Matthew Charles Weiss Pranakasha Productions Seattle, WA USA 12 July 2007 P.S. Please forgive the vulgarity of the above analogy, however I recently read the libretto to Ligeti's opera "Le Grand Macabre" and it may have had a negative influence upon my sensibility. |
copyright © 2007 by Matthew C. Weiss. All rights reserved